Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, is a type of therapy that can help couples improve their communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen their relationship. It can be helpful for couples at all stages of a relationship, from premarital counseling to couples who have been married for many years.
Marriage Counselling is the best magic wand that will make all your relationship problems disappear.
As with any self-help book, inspirational DVD or interesting and useful advice, marriage counselling is only as effective as you choose to make it. You can have a whole collection of books in your library on how to better your understanding of one another, but if you don’t actually make the time to read the books and try to apply the knowledge actively in your life – it cannot and will not be of any use to you.
Therefore, when you decide to come for marriage counselling, make very sure of your motives. Marriage counselling will help you understand yourself better, help you get to know your partner better. You will learn new and interesting ways in which to communicate and love each other, but if you don’t choose to apply this knowledge, you are wasting your time and money. If you however, are open minded, want to save your marriage, are willing to learn, to adapt and to change (not who you are, but how you are), marriage counselling can and will benefit you immensely!
What is marriage counselling?
Marriage counseling is a safe and confidential space where couples can work with a trained therapist to address the challenges they are facing in their relationship. The therapist can help couples to understand each other better, develop healthier communication patterns, and learn how to resolve conflict in a constructive way.
What are the benefits of marriage counselling?
Marriage counseling can offer a number of benefits for couples, including:
- Improved communication
- Reduced conflict
- Stronger intimacy
- Increased satisfaction with the relationship
- A better understanding of each other’s needs and wants
- Improved problem-solving skills
- A stronger bond between partners
When should couples consider marriage counselling?
Couples may want to consider marriage counseling if they are experiencing any of the following challenges:
- Communication problems
- Frequent conflict
- Lack of intimacy
- Disagreements about parenting or finances
- Infidelity
- Thoughts of divorce
How to find a marriage counselor
There are a number of ways to find a marriage counselor, including:
- Asking friends, family, or other professionals for recommendations
- Searching online directories such as Psychology Today or the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
- Contacting your local insurance company to see if they cover marriage counseling
What to expect from marriage counselling
The first step in marriage counseling is typically for the therapist to meet with each partner individually to get a better understanding of their perspective on the relationship. Once the therapist has a good understanding of the situation, they will begin working with the couple to develop a treatment plan.
Treatment plans vary depending on the specific needs of the couple. However, some common goals of marriage counseling include:
- Improving communication
- Learning how to resolve conflict in a healthy way
- Strengthening intimacy
- Developing a better understanding of each other’s needs and wants
We also do online counselling to all those who are far or busy in their offices, many people around Pretoria, johannesburg, durban, cape town, soweto, polokwane, sandton, rustenburg, tembisa, centurion, midrand, mamelodi, soshanguve, kempton park, gaborone, windhoek, lynnwood, bloemfontein, randburg and many more place arong South Africa are welcomed
How long does marriage counselling last?
The length of marriage counseling varies depending on the needs of the couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may need to see a therapist for several months or even years.
How much does marriage counselling cost?
The cost of marriage counseling varies depending on the therapist’s experience and location. However, most therapists charge between $100 and $200 per session.
Is marriage counseling confidential?
Yes, marriage counseling is confidential. Therapists are legally obligated to keep all information shared in counseling sessions private.
If you are considering marriage counseling, there are a few things you can do to prepare for your first session:
- Think about the specific challenges you are facing in your relationship.
- Be prepared to discuss your relationship history, including any past conflicts or traumas.
- Be open to honest and honest communication with your partner.
- Be willing to work hard to improve your relationship.
Marriage counseling can be a valuable tool for couples who are committed to making their relationship work. If you are struggling in your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Who Might Consider Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling is for any couple who has tried to resolve their issues on their own without success. Unsure if you and your partner fall into that category? Indicators include the following signs:
- You have poor communication and are unable to agree on anything
- You’re constantly fighting or bickering
- You’re incapable of problem-solving together or experience unequal decision making
- You have trust issues
- You feel a lack of connection, emotionally and physically
- You are experiencing sexual issues, or not having sex at all
- You have lifestyle or life-goal disagreements (i.e. money, kids, where to live, etc.)
- You are reeling from one partner (or both) engaging in infidelity
- You are experiencing more difficult days together than peaceful and joyful days
What If My Partner Isn’t Open to Marriage Counseling?
While 79% of males think their partner would be open to couples therapy, only 66% of women think their partner would go. However, studies have shown that 52% of people who have never tried marriage counseling say they would consider attending.
If you’re nervous about how to approach the topic with your spouse, Cohan recommends setting up the conversation in a way that isn’t putting anyone on the defensive. Instead, share your desire to learn about tools that could benefit the health of your marriage. To get started, she suggests trying something like: “I know how much we still care about each other, and I think we could benefit from some outside input. After all, professional athletes and businesspeople have teams and resources to help them maximize their potential. We don’t need to navigate life’s problems and stressors on our own.”
What Happens in a Marriage Counseling Session?
During a marriage counseling session, couples work with their therapist to identify and address the problems that need to be acknowledged and resolved.
Skills couples might practice and takeaways they might learn during a session include the following, according to Bronstein:
- Learning more effective ways to communicate with each other
- Learning how to be vulnerable and truthful with each other
- Learning how to control their anger and responses when they feel emotionally charged
- Discovering why they choose to be married and their shared purpose in the marriage
- Reviving romance
- Remembering how to be grateful for one another versus judging and wanting the other person to change
“Whenever you have two willing people in a safe place with a mental health professional, there is bound to be change and growth within the relationship,” says Bronstein. “Marriage counseling is most successful when the couple takes it seriously, and they are cognizant of what they learn and discover in their sessions and take it with them in between sessions.”
What Happens Outside of Marriage Counseling Sessions?
Marriage counseling isn’t limited to the walls of a therapist’s office, however. Additional effort is required from each partner to implement the skills discussed during counseling.
“Couples need to be invested in the process and be mindful of their communication and behavior,” says Cohan. “I routinely give my patients ‘homework’ so they can set time aside to talk about issues and ‘practice’ what they have learned during our sessions.”
Bronstein agrees, and frequently gives couples she’s working with various exercises to do outside of scheduled sessions to keep the momentum going. These include:
- Practicing tools for better communication and reduced misunderstandings and hard to resolve conflicts
- Intentionally setting aside more time for intimacy
- Practicing active listening and validation instead of judging
- Being vulnerable and sharing feelings
- Making time for dates
- Having a weekly check-in to share feelings and express any needs that aren’t being met
“Marriage counseling works when the couple puts their learnings into action between sessions,” says Dr. Karim.
Frequently Asked Questions for Marriage Counseling
Q: What are the different types of marriage counseling?
A: There are a number of different types of marriage counseling, including:
- Psychodynamic therapy: This type of therapy focuses on helping couples to understand the unconscious forces that are influencing their relationship.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT focuses on helping couples to identify and change negative thinking patterns and behaviors.
- Emotionally focused therapy (EFT): EFT helps couples to identify and express their emotions in a healthy way.
- Gottman therapy: Gottman therapy is a research-based approach to marriage counseling that focuses on helping couples to improve their communication and conflict resolution skills.
Q: How do I choose a marriage counselor?
A: When choosing a marriage counselor, it is important to consider the following factors:
- Experience: Choose a counselor who has experience working with couples.
- Approach: Choose a counselor who uses an approach that you and your partner are comfortable with.
- Personality: Choose a counselor who you and your partner feel comfortable talking to.
Q: What can I expect from the first session of marriage counseling?
A: The first session of marriage counseling is typically an intake session. The therapist will meet with each partner individually to get to know them and learn more about the relationship. The therapist will also ask questions about the specific challenges you are facing in your relationship.
Q: How long does marriage counseling last?
A: The length of marriage counseling varies depending on the needs of the couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may need to see a therapist for several months or even years.
Q: How much does marriage counseling cost?
A: The cost of marriage counseling varies depending on the therapist’s experience and location. However, most therapists charge between $100 and $200 per session.
Q: Is marriage counseling confidential?
A: Yes, marriage counseling is confidential. Therapists are legally obligated to keep all information shared in counseling sessions private.
Q: What can I do to prepare for my first session of marriage counseling?
A: Here are a few things you can do to prepare for your first session of marriage counseling:
- Think about the specific challenges you are facing in your relationship.
- Be prepared to discuss your relationship history, including any past conflicts or traumas.
- Be open to honest and honest communication with your partner.
- Be willing to work hard to improve your relationship.
Q: What are the benefits of marriage counseling?
A: Marriage counseling can offer a number of benefits for couples, including:
- Improved communication
- Reduced conflict
- Stronger intimacy
- Increased satisfaction with the relationship
- A better understanding of each other’s needs and wants
- Improved problem-solving skills
- A stronger bond between partners
Q: When should couples consider marriage counseling?
A: Couples may want to consider marriage counseling if they are experiencing any of the following challenges:
- Communication problems
- Frequent conflict
- Lack of intimacy
- Disagreements about parenting or finances
- Infidelity
- Thoughts of divorce